I wanted to try my hands at watercolour last night, seeing as I haven’t touched it in ages, but I ran out of time/energy. Thankfully, today, I managed to make something and it even turned out great!
I will put a slideshow of a few pictures I took to show the progression of the painting at the end of this post.
It started as a nice sketch which left me feeling pleasantly surprised as I wasn’t sure I knew how to draw at all anymore.
Then, when I started my first layer of paint it was fine… Until I used a purple instead of a brown and I thought I had ruined it. I tried real hard to remain patient and wait for the layer to dry before applying a new one.
Then with my last layer I had to add a flower to cover a little mistake that happened with the butterfly’s wing. That’s why it might look a bit off as I didn’t think of moving his paw accordingly. x)
I wasn’t sure of the end result but once I added some details with a fine liner it looked like an illustration straight from a children’s book.
I didn’t think I could make something that would look so nice because I am out of practice and focus but I did. And, right now, being able to make something good means so much to me as it is a reminder that nothing has been lost in the last storm.
Sometimes, my days off feel more like a prison than a relief from work. I am beyond happy that this is coming to an end (and in only a couple of days now!) but, while it lasts, the negative feelings and tiredness persist.
When you have struggled for so long and you finally see the end only a couple of steps away, it doesn’t always feel as good as you’d expect.
More often than not, those last couple of steps you have to take tend to stretch and stretch and stretch…. And you wonder where to find more strength to get through five more days, four more, three more..
I had to take some days off this week for the sake of my mental health. My mind (and my body) has been put through so much strain, forcing myself to keep going for the last few months that, even though I can clearly see the end now, I cannot find that adrenaline rush that boosts your legs to the finish line after a long run.
I’m still drained and faded
However, in spite of all of this situation still pinning me down, I have been able to do things again this month. I am slowly feeling like myself again and that is a wonderful feeling.
Things I thought were lost are popping up from the darkest corners of my mind and I realize that my fire is still here and surprisingly still burning, even through the cobwebs and layers of dust.
I am very much looking forward to Friday week where I can finally turn a page in my journal to start anew and see my reflection gradually coming back together when I look in the mirror.